Saturday, June 22, 2013

Misunderstandings

Let me start off today's blog by saying these are actual stories, things that have happened to me or my family.  I find them very humorous but they could be a bit on the rated PG-13 side.  That being said, here we go.

When my daughter was about 3 years old, she walked into the bathroom to find my husband standing, facing the mirror, shaving.  He was only wearing his underwear and at the time, he wore bikini briefs which didn't leave much to the imagination.  My daughter honed in on his crotch.  She looked at his crotch then glanced up to his face, then looked at it again and looked at his face.  Finally she said, "You got poop in there?"  My husband was flabbergasted.  What was he supposed to say to a 3-year old little girl?  So, thinking it was the easy way out he said,  "Yes, yes I have poop in there."  Problem is, a 3-year old can't keep a secret so she told everyone at daycare her daddy poops his pants.

When my son was around the same age we went to visit my parents who live two hours from us.  They have several acres of land and my dad has a 4-wheeler that my husband and kids like to ride.  My husband took my son for a ride and decided to go down the street a little ways because it wasn't as bumpy and rough as the land mom and dad live on.  They came to the top of a hill and there on the side in a pasture were a cow and a bull going at it.  My husband started to panic knowing my son was going to ask what they were doing.  When they got closer my son glanced over and said, "Look Daddy.  That cow is giving that other cow a piggy back ride."  My husband breathed a sigh of relief and said, "Yes, isn't that nice?"

When I was in high school my mom was a nanny for a pretty predominant judge in our area.  One morning I was in the bathroom brushing my teeth and the youngest one, who was probably 4 or 5 at the time, came in.  They were like family.  We took them with us on vacation and they spent the night quite often.  Allie looked at me and said, "Can I watch you put your Tampax in?"  I was shocked!  What on earth was she talking about?  I said, "Excuse me?"  Again she said, "Your Tampax.  Can I watch you put her Tampax in?"  I stammered and stumbled and finally said, "I don't think that's a good idea."  Then she pointed at my CONTACT case and said, "It's just that I've never seen anyone put them in before."  She meant CONTACTS, not TAMPAX. 

I hope I made you smile today.  If I did, my job is done :)