Friday, October 18, 2013

Give a Starving Man a Fish ... Please!

Yesterday my co-workers and I decided to go to lunch.  We do this every so often as just a way to get away from the office, talk and get to know one another on a different level.  I recommended a restaurant within walking distance because the crab cake salad I had there last time was awesome.

Our server (waitress) was either drunk, high, or both.  She took our drink orders.  We all ordered water with lemon.  She brought the drinks and then asked if we wanted any appetizers, which we didn’t.  Then she asked if we were ready.  I said, “I am,” at which she turned and left to find something to write with.   In her defense, she did apologize and tell us she spent most of the night in the hospital, which hospital, not sure.  You know there is a psych ward nearby.  Lol.

We all placed our orders:  Keri, a crab cake burger with fries; I ordered a crab cake salad; Jen ordered a grilled chix sandwhich, no onions, with fries; Kevin ordered a salmon dinner with fries; and Matt ordered a crab cake burger with a salad.  Her gestures when each of us ordered and the look on her face when Matt requested a salad, no fries, and then had the gall to ask what type of dressing they have.  She even made noises and crinkled up her face.  It was very comical.  She promised to bring more water and bread and she promised to bring Keri a refill on her ice tea (?).

About 15 minutes later, she returns with her little notepad to “double check” our orders.  OK, we are cooking with gas now.  She has the orders.  She knows what each of us wants.  Any minute now we will be enjoying a bountiful feast.


A few minutes later she brings Matt his salad.  He is the only one with food as we still haven’t gotten a water refill and still no bread.

About 10 minutes after that, she returns to “double check” our side dishes.  This time she does not bring a pen or a pad, obviously she has suddenly passed a memorization course and whatever we say is getting tucked away into her memory to be recalled later on command.  Again, Matt stresses he already has his salad, he is good on the side dishes.

5 minutes later she carries out a huge tray of food.  The only order on the tray that is correct is Jen’s chix sandwich, which btw, has onion.  The other dishes were all the crab cake appetizer.  She also has a basket of fries, which she sits down in front of Matt.  Matt, as you recall had a salad, no fries.  So the basket was passed to Kevin.  She takes the incorrect stuff back to the kitchen and returns with 3 crab cake sandwiches, one of which looks like it may have been dropped because there were literally finger holes in the top bun as someone grabbed it before it hit the floor.  One sandwich for Matt (which btw has fries on the side) and one sandwich for Keri.  She tried to give me the other sandwich but I explained yet again I had ordered the crab cake salad. 

She leaves and returns moments later with another crab cake sandwich for Kevin, who if you are taking notes, ordered the salmon dinner, no salad.   When he told her he did not order a crab cake sandwich, she placed the entire meal on a side table and left it sit there as she goes back into the kitchen to find our missing food.

Our waitress comes out of the back, walks up to the front, gets her stuff and leaves the restaurant, like leaves.  Gone.  Not returning.  Bye-bye.  Great.  At least when she was there we had a server, now we have no one.

Keri actually flags down another server who apologizes and offers to help.  We wait a few more minutes and Kevin’s salmon comes out, which is cold (btw all the fries and the other sandwiches are cold as well).  He takes a few bites and says it is awful.  My water glass is empty.  No bread ever appeared and my crab cake salad is still a no show.

Finally an older lady comes over and apologizes.  She offers us free dessert.  Really?  I still haven’t gotten my friggin salad!  She returns moments later with a dessert tray and brings with her a gentleman who introduces himself as Dominic and is half owner of the restaurant.  Dominic apologizes and tells us he will comp the entire check and send us home with dessert.   While everyone places their dessert orders, my salad comes from the back. 

We totalled it all up.  There were 15 plates of food that came out that didn't belong to us and all total, 17 crab cakes were passed in front of us in which our table actually only ordered 3.  Goodness, I thought we were on candid camera.  Who recommended this place?

Cheers!

R. K. Avery
@RKAvery1